I Miss It... But I Don't Miss Him

I Don't Miss Him

I Miss it

But I don’t miss him…

I miss being a Wife.

And I was a good wife! 

I miss the ability to take care of my family

And while I still have my family, 

It doesn’t look the same as it did 5 years ago.

I miss the constants.

I miss the knowing.

I miss the ability to create the home .

The ability to love with my whole.

Day in and day out…

But I don’t miss him…

I miss the opportunities.

The opportunity to nurture what should have been a true love.

To create the safe place for my loves.

To create memories that were a part of the union.

But I don’t miss him…

I miss the schedule.

I miss the moments.

I miss the mundane tasks in my home…

Like cooking and cleaning and laundry;

For My Loves, My Tribe, My FAMILY!

I miss the idea of…

But I don’t miss him…

Being a wife,

Being a mom,

Being a home MAKER,

Being a caretaker,

I miss it all! 

But I don’t miss him…

I miss the knowing that when I wake up,

When I wake up…

I’ll have my family complete,

I’ll be able to feed and clothe and care for my unit, my tribe,

When I wake up…

I’ll have my plan;

My plan to create,

My plan to bake,

My plan to sow,

My plan to grow!

I miss the day to day that I once took for granted.

I miss the simple things.

The idea of a person I thought I knew.

The idea of a person I could call about absolutely NOTHING…

Or…

EVERYTHING!

I miss the idea of a person that was supposed to be my best friend.

The idea of the person that was supposed to be my rock.

The idea of the person that was supposed to be the half to my whole.

I miss the best friend I created the idea that he was supposed to be.

The one who was supposed to know me…

And I know Him…

I Miss the IDEA of Him

But I don’t miss him…

So here we are…

5 years divorced and single;

Running the race of life…

Successful in career, 

Successful in caring for my babies,

Successful in keeping it all together (or so I think LOL)!

Yet I miss being the wife

I miss it terribly.

But I don’t miss Him…